Joker & The Thief

CARL CARBONI is a past his prime well mannered burnt out petty thief who still lives with his mother.  After he bungles the heist of an expensive painting, he has only one way to settle his debt with DON VALACHI, an aged Vegas mob boss who longs for the old Vegas of booze, broads, and Sinatra.  Carl has to take the son of The Don’s mistress, DWAYNE JONES, and make a man out of the 20 year-old smartass while teaching him how to be a thief.


Dwayne is a dorky wannabe comedian screw-up incapable of taking anything seriously.  While at a strip club, Carl learns of a heist where he can get the fifty G’s he needs to pay off the Don. Dwayne scores with a cute young stripper, SAM, by helping her escape from the Chinese Triads pursuing her. 

Then Sam blackmails Dwayne and Carl into making her part of the heist.  Together the three bungling buglers botch the robbery ending up with nothing, but the wrath of “THE BITCH,” who heads up Vegas’ Lesbian Mafia.  Carl, Dwayne, and Sam, along with Carl’s mother, flee The Bitch and her lesbian tuffs leading them on a wild chase through the streets of Vegas complete with souvenir stands, yards of margaritas, and Carl’s Alzheimer’s mother being the star of the craps table.

Now pursued by Chinese gangsters, and the Lesbian Mafia, Dwayne seeks The Don’s help.   But The Don’s had enough.  He holds Dwayne hostage and tells Carl to steal the painting or he’ll never see Dwayne again.  And by this time Carl cares about someone other than himself and his mother.  He steals the painting and gives it to The Don who betrays him.  Dwayne is taken out to the desert to be executed while Carl is turned over to PING, the head of the Chinese Triads.  Carl’s tortured by Ping’s hired psycho married hit couple until he gives up Sam’s location.

Meanwhile, out in the desert, Dwayne uses one of the very few things he’s learned from Carl to overcome the Don’s thugs.  He then saves Carl, but Ping has Sam.  They turn to The Don again, but this time they’re armed and ready.  The Don revels that The Bitch and Ping are hiding Sam in their new Strip Club-Brothel-Casino, Heaven. 

Despite Carl’s ineptitude as a bad guy and Dwayne’s constant stand-up comedy routines they’re still alive.  They head down to the casino for the final showdown using the only things they have; wit, moxie and a whole lot of heavily armed strippers.  Will it be enough to overcome all the Chinese, Italian and Lesbian thugs?